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Parenting time a problem over the holidays?

On Behalf of | Jan 22, 2025 | Child Custody And Visitation

Parenting time can complicate day-to-day life for parents who must arrange their schedules around pick-ups and drop-offs, plan ahead for family gatherings and activities, and ensure there is proper care for the children due to work responsibilities, illness and other unpredictable events.

The challenges of sharing custody can be particularly difficult during the holiday season. Parents may have a difficult time finding balance while juggling holiday events and preparation and custody exchanges. The first holiday season after a divorce or separation can be emotionally challenging, and subsequent holidays can be even more difficult if there is no clear schedule or cooperation between parents.

Parents who do not have a formal custody schedule may quickly realize they need one when the holidays add complications to their already busy lives.  For some parents, the regular schedule for sharing custody seems to work out fine, but they can struggle with balancing everyone’s holiday wishes and plans and need a detailed schedule.  Others may realize the schedule they worked out made sense in theory but did not work in practice.  Parents may need help from a family law attorney to either establish a formal custody order or modify an existing one.

How do parents address sharing the holidays?

Custody orders typically include provisions for the holidays in addition to the breakdown of regular parenting time.  Parents are always welcome, and encouraged by the Court, to come to their own agreement for a holiday parenting schedule.  Some parents will agree to alternate holidays or to divide major holidays and breaks and alternate the shorter holidays.  Some special days, such as birthdays, can be split into sections of a few hours so each parent gets to celebrate the day.  When parents are highly cooperative, they may develop a schedule that is based on each other’s family traditions.  These schedules may not result in an equal sharing of holidays but in each parent having time on the holidays most important to them and their extended families.

Agreeing on a schedule for holidays can be difficult for separating or divorcing parents because of the emotional significance of holidays, holiday travel, family traditions and other issues unique to holidays.  Most courts have some version of a standardized holiday schedule that equally divides holidays between the parents.  Parents can agree to adopt the court’s schedule or may have that schedule imposed on them by a judge if they cannot agree.

No matter whether a family follows a court holiday schedule or a schedule the parents agreed to on their own, having a schedule is important.  A schedule can prevent confusion, lost time with children, and arguments that could lead to court hearings and avoidable conflict between parents which may trickle down to the emotional stability of the children.

Learning from a difficult holiday season should inspire parents to adopt or modify appropriate child custody arrangements. The holidays often require careful planning to ensure the focus is on the joy of the children rather than the conflict between the parents.  The guidance of an experienced family law attorney to assist with developing a detailed schedule is valuable in these situations.  Counsel can provide advice and facilitate discussions and negotiations without the children being caught in the middle and with a focus on what is best for the family.

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