Marlton, New Jersey is recognized as having one of the best township-based organized athletic programs in the State of New Jersey. Thousands of children participate in a wide variety of organized sports activities including football, lacrosse, soccer, baseball, golf, and dozens of other athletic endeavors. Hundreds of township residents donate their time to support these programs, and Marlton is a model for all of Burlington County.
What happens when parents are separated and not able to agree on a sports activity for their children?
An issue that often comes up in custody and parenting matters is choosing activities for the children. Some parents cannot agree on whether sports and other activities have to be chosen by both parents, or whether the parent with whom the children live most of the time can decide on his/her own without the consent of the other parent.
In general, the law states that parents who share joint legal custody are both involved in making major decisions for the children. The custodial parent, who has the children more than half the time, is responsible for making day-to-day decisions. So, is enrolling a child in a sport or club a major decision or a day-to-day decision? This issue has been brough to the court many times with different results depending on the specific facts of each family.
The court has found that the custodial parent can make the initial decision where children will go for daycare or preschool (Madison v. Davis, 438 N.J. Super. 20 (Ch. Div. 2014)), and when to schedule routine medical appointments (Brzozowski v.
Brzozowski, 265 N.J. Super. 141 (1993)), without needing prior consent of the other parent. The thought is that the custodial parent is typically responsible for transporting the children to these events and should therefore be able to make arrangements that are convenient for him/her. This does not mean, however, that the other parent has no say. The parent of alternate residence, who spends less than half the time with the children, may have a good reason to object to the selected preschool, for example. He/she has a right to be heard and have his/her concerns taking into consideration before the decision is made final. If the parents cannot agree, the court will make a decision based on both parents’ concerns and what is in the best interests of the children.
When it comes to choosing activities for the children, there are two main considerations – who will pay for the activities and whether the activities will take place during both parents’ time with the children. The custodial parent may want to enroll a child in soccer but cannot make this decision without the consent of the other parent if they are asking that parent to contribute to the cost or if the practices and games will interfere with the other parent’s time with the child. In some situations, the parent of alternate residence may have other concerns about the activity chosen by the custodial parent, such as geographic distance or the safety of the child. A parent is not prevented from voicing these concerns simply because the children do not live primarily with him/her. Rather, there should be discussion between the parents and a decision made about what is best for the children, whether by agreement or by the court.
Experienced family law attorneys are accustomed to dealing with these types of disagreements and presenting them to the court to protect their client’s rights and the welfare of the children. If you are having issues agreeing with the other parent about sports or other activities for your child, contacting a competent family law attorney can give you advice to guide you through the dispute with a focus on protecting children and maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship.
