Divorce is one of the most emotionally challenging events in life, very similar to the death of a family member or friend. Once it is over, it is important to take steps to recover and stabilize as you enter a new phase of life.
First, taking care of yourself is paramount. Counseling, support groups, exercise, a good diet – all these things are helpful and assist in the transition.
Becoming accustomed to sharing children and preparing children for the change is very important. There are dozens of books and resources to assist. There are many phone apps to share schedules for the children, information regarding, for instance, birthday parties and special events that help eliminate conflict and promote open healthy co-parenting communication. When the judge and lawyers are gone, the two parents are left behind to raise children. A very wise judge once said, “The less arrows you fire out of your quiver in a divorce, the better, as you will need to get along for the benefit of the kids when the divorce is over.”
You may need guidance from family or a professional on managing your finances and navigating your budget, savings. and retirement. Oftentimes, one of the spouses handles this stuff, and the other is suddenly thrust into action with no real idea how to handle the obligation.
It is important to be realistic and ask for help if you need it. The good news is that you are not the first person to ever go through a divorce and when you adapt and recover you will be that much stronger. We stand on the shoulders of giants and can rest assured knowing that our friends, family, and medical professionals are here to support us and give us the strength to survive the crisis.
