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Tips for dealing with an unreasonable ex during your divorce

When you are getting divorced, you can be dealing with a very different person than the person you married. Your ex might have been loving, rational and understanding on the day you said, "I do," but a divorce can bring out the hurtful, vengeful and unpredictable side he or she has.

If this sounds like your situation, then you are likely struggling to figure out how to deal with unreasonable demands, delays and decisions from your ex. Below are some tips for how you can handle this difficult - and frustrating - situation.

  1. Don't play the game. Sinking to another person's level can make you look bad and feel even worse. Rather than playing into your ex's game, focus on your happiness as well as what you can do to minimize drama in your own life.
  2. Make sure you document every exchange. As discussed in this Huffington Post article, an unreasonable ex can lie about or fabricate conversations, agreements and events. To counter these, keep records of conversations and have witnesses present in the event that you and your ex would otherwise be alone.
  3. Avoid in-person exchanges. Personal encounters can be more emotionally charged than discussions via email or messaging apps, so avoiding them can be in your best interests.
  4. Know your rights under the law. Your ex might demand an unreasonable amount of spousal support or threaten to take your kids away from you, but that doesn't mean he or she will get it. There are laws in place that prevent unreasonable or grossly unfair terms of a divorce.
  5. Remember that this situation is temporary. It can be exhausting to fight with an unreasonable person, especially when your family and finances are on the line. However, you won't be in this position forever. Eventually, the divorce will be final and you can turn your attention to more enjoyable pursuits.

A final point to make is that you can avoid many unpleasant exchanges with an ex by working with an attorney throughout your divorce. Your lawyer can fight on your behalf, respond to your ex's requests and pursue the fair, reasonable settlement you deserve.

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